4 Red Flags You SHOULDN’T Ignore In Yourself

Everyone always discusses the red flags of other people, but what about our own red flags? A man can’t be on self-improvement If he doesn’t look at his own red flags, that’s right; your self-improvement is meaningless garbage if you can’t be brutally honest with yourself.

I remember how I used to think I didn’t need to change. I always had this idea that others had to accept me as I am, and if they didn’t like it, it was their own problem. The crazy thing is that I was a man full of anger and trauma.

I was an aggressive man, and I’ve hurt many people, yet I thought I had no red flags. I never self-reflected or stopped to take ownership of my own actions until one day I was left all alone in this world. I looked at myself in the mirror and did not like what I had become, so I decided to change.

I let go of the chains of trauma from the past, and for the first time in my life, I felt free. I felt like I could truly start to improve myself, but it wasn’t easy. My past traumas tried to pull me back in, and the childhood version of me did not want to change.

The childhood version of me was fierce; he was abused and full of anger. That young boy refused to accept that I was going to change. A man tried everything he could to remind me of the pain and suffering in my life, but after a hard internal battle, I was able to change my ways and break through my trauma.

After that, I began fixing the red flags about myself. That is what real self-improvement is. listen One of the reasons I started this Blog is because I feel like I need to repay the world for my actions.

I must pay the price for my sins and make up for what I’ve done. There’s a lot more I could say on how to break through traumas, but that’s not what this Blog is about. If you want to know more about overcoming trauma, let me know in the comments and follow to the Blog.

Now before I tell you what red flags to look out for in your cell, just know this: your environment, family trauma, and bad habits are not you; they do not define you. Sure, they can affect you, but they are not you as a person, so don’t use them as an excuse for being PATHETIC!

We will go for four red flags to look out for in yourself.

#1 Avoidant attachment

Humans are social creatures; we need each other, whether it’s a brotherhood of men, a relationship with a woman, or with your family, but people with avoidant attachment Styles tend to be emotionally detached and closed, or they appear confident and self-sufficient, but in reality, they lack the crucial ability to form deep connections with other humans.

This is where the importance of a mother comes into play. A mother should offer her children the space to express their feelings and emotions while providing them with love and nurturing, but if your mother did not give you this, it could cause you to have a lack of empathy for others.

You could even feel very uncomfortable showing care for others. I was one of those people. I did not feel for others, and I was ruthless towards everyone. Yes, I was very self-sufficient, but I lacked something powerful as a man.

I lacked the ability to feel for others and build deep relationships. Listen, many people don’t have this problem, but if you grew up in a single-mother household, chances are you may recognize yourself in what I’ve just said because single mothers often try to take on the role of the father, and because of that, their role as a mother automatically diminishes.

No human can be a father and a mother at the same time; she will simply be a lesser version of both. If she tries to analyze herself, if you have trouble attaching to people, the problem may not be the world out there; it may just be you.

#2 Negative self-talk

Any inner dialogue you have with yourself that limits your ability to believe in yourself and your own potential is negative, but this not only keeps you far from your potential, but it also increases the risk of mental health problems such as lack of motivation and depression, and what’s more, it damages the people around you because your negativity will rub off on those around you.

So, if you are guilty of putting yourself down with self-deprecating thoughts and jokes, it’s not only self-destructive to yourself, but it’s also extremely selfish as it hurts your inner circle. One way to fix this is to practice mindfulness.

#3 Big EGO

When you’re improving your life, it’s easy to get an oversized ego, especially when you take into account that most people are lazy. This makes you feel superior to them, but this is dangerous because it will cause you to underestimate others.

There is a quote that goes, “Do not scorn a weak cub; you may become a brutal tiger one day,” meaning you don’t mock those that are seen beneath your level as they may just become powerful enough one day to take you out.

It’s better to show respect, no matter how far ahead you are. Listen, we all have an ego, and there is a place where you actually need a strong ego, but most of the time you need to keep your ego away, humble yourself, and know that there are many people that outperform you every single day.

#4 Perfectionism

Perfectionism is pathetic.

You heard that right. It is an excuse for not taking risks. You see things will never be perfect and when you chase Perfection, you are chasing a goal with no end picture.

A man that has to set sail to new land but, before he does, he decides to clean his ship until it’s perfectly clean. It takes him days, weeks and months. The ship will never be perfectly clean.

There is always some new dust somewhere this man is a coward afraid to set sail and to take new risks, so he hides it in the name of perfectionism. On top of that, perfectionists often put unrealistic pressure on their friends to meet their high standards, as a result perfectionism can sometimes be a barrier to having fulfilling and satisfying personal relationships.

There is very little upside to perfectionism it is counterproductive for productivity it ruins relationships, it stops you from taking risks and it leaves you unhappy because you’re never satisfied and yet people will proudly call themselves a perfectionist.

If this is you, you must recognize that it’s a red flag and not something to brag about.

It’s time we start working on these red flags to make our lives meaningful.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

Regards,

Shreyas Raj.